"Built Between Worlds, Held Together by Grace"

I never imagined that I would someone from another culture, but God had big plans for me. Growing up, life wasn’t easy. My family struggled with poverty and addiction, and I learned early to stay strong, keep quiet, and carry on. Poverty wasn’t just a lack of money; it was a lack of stability. I learned to be independent early on, but it came with loneliness. Behind the quiet facade at school or around friends was a storm I couldn’t explain. When your family life is tangled in secrecy, it’s easy to feel invisible. I grew up fast, emotionally and mentally. I craved connection but didn’t trust anyone enough to fully open up. I felt shame, like I had to apologize for the circumstances I was born into. Living is a small town I felt that people always judged everything.  To this day they still do. 

Falling in love with someone from another country was a twist I didn’t expect—but it healed parts of me I didn’t know were broken. Cultural differences made me reflect on my values, habits, and emotions.  We didn’t speak the same language at first.  His culture was full of traditions I didn’t grow up with. Mine came with scars he couldn’t see. But somehow, our hearts understood each other.  Now, I’m learning to trust joy, to build a future that’s mine alone. The past still echoes, but it no longer defines me, or I know longer carry that on my shoulder. The thing that makes me and my husband so strong and understanding is we both grew up poor, just in different ways. My parents made choices that hurt our home. I had to grow up fast. His parents worked hard, but jobs weren’t the same in his country. He started working young to help out. We both knew what it felt like to struggle, and that helped us grow close. We both understood each other's heart. I always told myself that if I ever had children, I want to be different. For people like me who had to grow up fast and in survival mode the idea of creating a safe family isn't just a dream come true it's a mission. It didn't come with directions it came with commitment that we built. No marriage is perfect we all know, and it takes a lot of trust meaning no secrets, no shaming, just truth.  Accountability we own our mistakes and apologize and do not keep on making those same mistakes because then it's not a mistake.  One thing is we both learned is that the family you build can be wildly different from the one you came from.

 We both learned that fitting in isn’t the goal—being real is. I don’t need to match someone else’s version of success or confidence to be proud of who we are. We have met people who thought too much of themselves—who judged quickly, helped rarely, and spoke like they were above others. But the truth is you can have a nice appearance and still be ugly and I know many people who are. You don’t need approval from people like that. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. In reality I care the way your treat people all the time. You never know what people go through in life I always say that because it is so very true. 

“The Lord lifts up the humble; He casts the wicked down to the ground.” — Psalm 147:6