"Struggle taught me to stand. Faith taught me where to walk."
I didn’t ask for the chaos I was born into, And I am sure my parents didn't ask either. I am not going to talk bad about my parents because no one is perfect. For a long time, I was very angry with them because of the hard life I had to live. But I forgave them a long time ago until I learned that they had a hard life too. A little background of my parents. My mother came from a big family, her parents separated when she was born, she told me she lived with her grandmother who was also a foster mother from a baby until she was an adult. I can't imagine my mother giving me up but only one child and keeping the rest. She has many siblings that got to live her mother. My father and his siblings on the other hand got taken away from his mother. Two of his sisters were place in the same home with my mom. My father and his brother went to another family. I used to think my parents chose addiction—but over time, I began to understand they were running from something. Trauma changes people. It wounds in places no one can see, and sometimes those wounds get buried so deep they only speak through silence, anger, or self-destruction. I’ve learned that pain doesn’t excuse the hurt it causes, but it does explain the storm behind it. They weren’t evil. They were broken. And just like I fought to break free from their chaos, I also had to fight to forgive. Not because they earned it—but because I deserved peace. I also think that if it did not happen the way it happened then I wouldn't exist. My parents were fighting battles I couldn’t see, ones that started long before I was born. And sometimes the fight wore them down before they ever had a chance to win. One thing I can say even though they had habits they never let us get taken away. Which gave me hope for them.